


Honesty and Comfort

by hopeduckling13



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: 3x22, Anti-Neal, F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 07:44:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12452790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeduckling13/pseuds/hopeduckling13
Summary: Snowing announces the name of their son, Neal and Emma isn’t too happy about the name. She talks to Killian about it.





	Honesty and Comfort

**Emma's POV**

Mary Margret: "People of Storybrooke, it's our great joy to introduce you to our son, Prince Neal."

What?! She didn't just say Neal, did she? How could they name my brother after that idiot?! How can they hurt me that much? I already felt unloved because of the way my mother announced she wanted another baby in Neverland as her darkest secret.

I was never enough for my mother and now she names her son after my ex, who sent me to jail?! That sure sends a message.

I get up and leave Granny's and the cheering of Storybrooke's citizens. My mother doesn't even notice since she's cuddling with my baby brother.

Maybe I shouldn't have left though because Hook is sitting in front of the small diner, drinking his rum and seeming as sad as usual. I approach him and sit down next to him.

Killian: "Swan? For what do I owe the pleasure?"

Emma: "You seem upset, which is very relatable to me right now. Why not be miserable together?"

Worry appears on his face and he stares deeply into my eyes. I never realized just how light blue his eyes shine when he's sad or worried. It's amazingly beautiful. He's so gorgeous it actually hurts.

Killian: "What happened, Swan? You were fine a few minutes ago. Do you want to move back to New York once again?"

So that's why he's worried. He just doesn't want me to move away. For a minute I actually thought, that he was genuinely caring about my well-being.

Emma: "No, it's not that. This is my home. It's because of my parents. They named my brother after Neal, which I don't agree with."

Killian: "So you didn't love him?"

Emma: "No. I actually wished, that it was one of Pan's tricks, when you told us he was still alive. I wished he was dead and I know that makes me a very bad person, but I can't help it. I never forgave him for what he did to me and I never will. My brother will only remind me of him now and I hate that. It's too painful. It also proves just how much my mother hates me."

Killian: "She doesn't hate you and not forgiving him doesn't make you a bad person, Swan. You're great and amazing. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Emma: "Thanks. Even if you're the only person to think so."

Killian: "That's not true, Swan. You're adored in this town. No one hates you and you shouldn't hate yourself so much."

Emma: "I don't hate myself."

Killian: "Maybe, but you're still punishing yourself a lot. You always feel guilty. You don't have to do that, you know? You don't always have to sacrifice everything for the people. You need to be happy too, so go in there and tell your parents to change the name of the little prince."

Emma: "No. It's not that easy. They would only want an explanation and I'm not ready to tell them what happened with Neal."

Killian: "What exactly did he do?"

He can't be serious! He can't believe, that I'd tell him, when I don't even tell my parents. It's not like we're friends or anything.

Emma: "None of your business. We're not even friends, so I don't owe you anything."

His eyes leave mine and he looks down. I can tell, that I hurt him, but I just can't tell him. I'm scared and I don't want to relive it. My walls are once again as high as the Mount Everest.

Killian: "Sorry. I just want to help you, Swan. I hate to see you upset."

Emma: "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to snap at you. You've been a good friend to me for a long time now. I'm just...scared."

Killian: "Of me? Swan, I'd never hurt you. I promise. You just have to trust me."

Emma: "I do trust you."

Killian: "You do?"

Emma: "Of course. Why else would I let you anywhere near Henry? That trust just isn't enough to tell you because I've been let down too often."

Killian: "There's nothing to be scared off, Swan. Have I ever let you down?"

Emma: "No and that is scary because I don't understand it. Everybody lies, so you could lie right now."

Killian: "Well that's where the trust comes in, love. I'm a good listener and you can see it as a trial. So, you'll know what to say in case you ever decide to tell your parents about what happened."

Is it bad that I'm actually considering it? I shouldn't feel the need to tell someone. Least of all Captain Hook. I've never told anyone, so why do I feel like doing that now? It's been so long ago, so it doesn't really make sense to me.

Emma: "It was a long time ago."

Maybe that'll stop him from wanting to know. I don't really understand why he cares anyway, so it should be easy to change his mind. It's not like I'm important to him at all. Unless this is all a game to him, it should work.

Killian: "That might be true, but this still bothers you, so you should try to move on from it and maybe talking about it helps at that."

Emma: "It doesn't matter, Hook. So, stop asking about it."

His blue eyes turn sad and lighter at that once again. It's so confusing. Why does he pretend to care? He can't possibly care about me at all! No one ever cares about me. Least of all Captain freaking Hook.

Killian: "Don't you realize, that I'm just trying to help. You just have to trust me, Swan. Please. I can't take seeing you so sad."

Emma: "Why?"

Killian: "Because I care about you."

Emma: "No one ever cared about me and no one cares about me right now."

Killian: "I do. Not everyone is like Bae. Not everyone will break your trust and hurt you. I promise"

I laugh softly.

Killian: "What?"

Emma: "Henry once said the exact same thing."

Killian: "Then if you don't listen to me, listen to your boy."

I breathe out shakenly. The truth it, that I'm scared of telling anyone. I don't want to remember it. I just want to forget even though I doubt, that I'll ever do.

Maybe Killian is right. Maybe I need to share my misery with him. He could help since we understand each other so well due to both being orphans and being broken by the cruel world.

Emma: "I don't even know where to start."

Killian: "Just start at the beginning."

He puts his hand on mine and I actually smile softly at him. He must have noticed how scared I am.

Emma: "Neal and I met when I was 16. I just got out of a foster home and was a thief. So, one day I wanted to get far away, which lead me to steal a car. That's how we met because he stole the car before me."

Killian: "You stole a stolen car? That's kind of funny."

It's insane how much we understand each other since I remember thinking the same thing when I found out, that Neal stole the care before me.

Emma: "Yeah. So, we talked and then we were thieves together for a while, kind of. I was dumb enough to fall for him and I thought, that he loved me too, which obviously wasn't case. One day, he decided, that we should stop being thieves and he had lots of stolen watches stored in a locker at a train station, which we could sell. So, he manipulated me into getting them for him. He even gifted me one before he went to sell them. He said I couldn't come along because it's too dangerous and that I should wait for him there. So, I waited and waited. He never arrived, but soon the police arrived because Neal called in an anonymous tip, that I stole the watches and where to find me. They arrested me for his crime and sent me to jail for 11 months. There I found out I was pregnant with Henry, but I was so broken, that I couldn't bear to keep him. I wanted him to have his best chance, which wasn't with me."

Tears stream down my face. I always had my walls build up so high, that I never quite realized how painful this memory is. Killian pulls me into his arms and surprisingly I let him hold me tightly, soothing me. I kind of feel safe in his arms. Like no one can ever hurt me again.

Killian: "I'm so sorry, Swan. You deserve so much better than that idiot. If he wasn't already dead, I'd murder him myself for doing what he did to you. I never pictured him turning out that way, when he was on my ship as a child."

Emma: "He was on your ship?"

Killian: "Yeah. He stayed with me for a while after Milah died."

Emma: "Where is your ship anyway? I haven't seen it in over a year."

Killian: "It's...gone."

Emma: "What? Why? What happened?"

Killian: "Blackbeard has it now. I gave it to him in exchange for something."

It feels like he is hiding something, but what is it?

Emma: "But it's your home. A place where you lived with your brother and Milah. A place, that is capable of reminding you of them. What could possibly be important enough to trade it for?"

Killian: "A magic bean. I had to get to New York someway, didn't I?"

Emma: "What?"

He-He traded his ship for me? What the hell?!

He's kidding, right?

Emma: "You traded your ship for me? Why?"

Killian: "It felt like the right thing to do. Also, I missed you a lot. I knew that it was worth it, if it meant getting to see you one more time."

Wow.

So, he does really care about me. Why else would he trade his home for me?

I'm overwhelmed with happiness and also confusion. I can't really believe this. No one cares about me. That's just the way things have always been like. But now...Killian cared more about me than about his home.

And it's in that moment, that I realize, that he was right all along in Neverland. He did win my heart. Or maybe he always had it. I'm not sure because I was never willing to admit it to myself.

For example, our first kiss, I originally did it to prove a point to him, but then I realized, that it actually meant something to me. When I'm being honest, I was almost about to kiss him again, but then he said something and it brought me back to reality.

I told him, that it was a one-time thing, but I know, that we both knew, that it was never going to be that. It was always going to be an infinity-time thing.

So, I lean in and kiss him passionately. I'm sure I'm going to get scared again tomorrow and try to run, but right now that doesn't matter. It won't ever really matter because I know deep in my heart, that we're endgame. It's just a matter of time.


End file.
